We finally held Amik's Eagle Court of Honor. He officially became our third Eagle Scout back in May when he emerged triumphant from his Eagle Board of Review (this incredibly intimidating thing that scouting does to poor boys who have just finished years of work and piles of paperwork, akin to defending a doctoral dissertation actually... not that I personally have ever done either. Defend a dissertation or submit to an Eagle board of review that is. But I know well and love people who have done these things). My family is proof that boys can achieve this rank in scouting without really being the typical gung-ho scouter stereo type. So, some words of comfort to those who are more like me, who believe it really is possible for a boy to grow into a good man and not necessarily know how to shoot a rifle, or tie a myriad of precisely executed knots, or even love camping, or be completely confident about which plants on the mountainside are edible and which aren't.
When the boys conduct a flag ceremony, relax if it lacks in military precision. They try, but when you are 11 and trying to control a flag at the end of a pole more than twice your height in a room with a ceiling that is much too low for said pole and which in addition is made of a material that can be easily pierced by said pole, well, things get complicated. And even though the leader just ran through the whole ceremony with you in the hallway.... again, when you actually march into a room with all eyes on you and your way too tall flag, it is suddenly not really easy to remember what every order means or who is supposed to walk right and who left and whether or not you salute or say the pledge or what. They are only 11 (or 12 or even 16) give them a break, this isn't the Marines.
It's not all about the perfection of the uniform! If you aren't in scouting, then you probably don't realize that those lovely polyester tan shirts cost about $40 each. And that is with no precisely embroidered patches whatsoever. Each of those are another few dollars. Also.... I cannot speak for all teenage boys of course, but I do know several well and most of them don't actually love those scouting shirts. They wear them of course, when they must, and hopefully when others are wearing them too so they don't call too much attention to themselves, but let's just say that they aren't what most of them would choose if they were attending say, a party at a friend's house. We have been lucky enough to always acquire hand down shirts. Which means that none of my boys have ever had the most current in scout fashion. Also, none of my Eagles wore a uniform to their Courts of Honor or even the Eagle boards. They grew out of all my hand downs by the time they were 16 or so, and when I was offered the "a white shirt and tie counts as a scout uniform" option, I was all over that.
About those patches.... there are a puzzling amount of fabulous accessories involved in scouting.... scarves and sashes and pins and badges. And, if your kid is making any progress whatsoever, then some of those patches are changing regularly! Here is my little piece of advice on the rank patches: don't sew them on. Shhhhh.... don't tell anyone I said that, but on my boys' shirts, I don't sew on the ranks. Because at the next court of honor... he'll probably get a new one! So, I use my little safety pins that are bent a tad for basting quilts.... and I PIN them on! If you pin from inside the pocket and put the patch up just a tiny bit so the very top is under the pocket flap, no one will ever know. However, the merit badge patches? Get the sash and sew those on as they go. Really, it is no fun sewing 20 or more patches on to a sash the night before a board of review because your kid has always just kept his patches in a notebook and never once worn the sash for any occasion whatsoever in 6 or 7 years of scouting. And no, I don't make my boys sew their own patches on. And yes, they can all sew on a button or do minor clothing repairs as needed.
Learn to appreciate that scouting has a sense of humor. For instance, many merit badges include one requirement that appears to be there purely for the entertainment value it provides the Merit Badge counselor. A case in point: the swimming badge requirement that one jump into the pool fully clothed and then attempt to fashion out of one's clothing some sort of flotation device--and then use said flotation device (!) does this ever work for anyone? Only if you go prepared and wearing a pair of nylon athletic pants. Also, a record keeping system that even in 2014 relies heavily upon tiny 3 inch high 'blue cards' that teenaged boys are supposed to be keeping track of for approximately 6 years!
Scouting and I had a rocky beginning... on account of my aforementioned firm belief that not all good men hunt and camp and tie knots. But I have learned some things in our years in scouting that I am not sure everyone always figures out... or maybe they just don't agree. Certainly some of the individuals I have dealt with over the years have not come to the same conclusions as I. But here it is: I don't believe that the real benefits, or even the real intention, of scouting actually has anything to do with camping or tying knots or shooting guns. Gasp! I know, it is a shock. (By the way, all three of my Eagles made it that far without ever touching a gun more lethal than a nerf dart gun and one of them made it that far without ever learning to love camping). What I think scouting is really about is setting goals and achieving them. It is about following rules...even the ones that make no sense whatsoever to you (like that swimming merit badge requirement) And it is about learning to work with people who you may not know, or even harder, who you may not like. It is about serving. It is very much about going out and doing and then returning to report....sometimes in the form of lengthy, tedious paperwork. It is about being responsible. And it is about growing up.
I still don't think scouting is a perfect program. But it is a good program. And when the leaders really honestly care about the boys more than they do scouting itself, it can be great.
