Where are all the teenagers?

Langley, BC, Canada

This fall we will have only 3 children living and schooling with us still, ages 11 through 16. Now that I have no little kids of my own, it is even more blatantly obvious to me that the numbers of homeschooled children begin to decrease drastically in inverse proportion to age. There are lots of 5 year olds at a gathering of homeschoolers, but less 8 year olds, and even less 11 year olds, and once you get to 16 year olds, your kid is lucky if he isn't the only one. He is lucky if there is anyone there within a couple years of his age who isn't his own sibling. This makes me a little sad. Of course everyone does what they feel is right for their kids and their family, but I suspect that some people maybe would prefer to keep on homeschooling but for one reason or another they just don't feel quite up to tackling homeschooling the big kids. As college and careers loom ever more close, doubts can creep in ever more pervasively and some may wonder if they are up to teaching the serious stuff: Algebra and Biology and how to write a lengthy research paper. Some may start to worry if maybe their kids do need the social life of traditional middle school and high school. And there are always those friends, neighbors and grandparents demanding to know exactly how our kids will ever get into college.

But I love homeschooling with teenagers, and can't imagine a situation where I would consider doing otherwise. The primary reason that we homeschool in the first place has very little to do with the education the kids are getting. I know, crazy. But the real reason for all of this is that we want to be with our kids and we want them to be with one another. That reason does not go away when they turn 12, or 14, or 16. If anything, the older they get  the more important it is to me to keep homeschooling, despite the challenges that may be involved. Teenagers are already going to be busier than your average 6 year old. Mine have church activities and responsibilities, most of them have had jobs, they have a daily seminary class and they have all had college classes. With all that going on, it is more urgent than ever, that we preserve what time we can with them, particularly when I think of how soon these teenagers will be all grown up and leaving our home.

Because homeschooling our teenagers was a priority, we have powered through our doubts and made it happen. As my kids got bigger I realized the importance of shifting my thinking from identifying myself as a homeschool 'teacher.' Because no, I am not a competent Algebra or Biology teacher, or art teacher for that matter. So what we had to do was find ways for the kids to learn the things either we or they thought they needed. For us that meant private music lessons, college classes, and good programs designed for autonomous learning. It could mean tutors or internships or just someone willing and interested in passing along knowledge they have to someone who wants to learn. It was a tremendous help that our schooling philosophy already leaned heavily towards unschooling and the kids having a lot of freedom regarding what they chose to learn. Because it is even harder to make a 16 year old do something they do not want to do than it is a two year old.

When I have panicky moments over my current high schoolers and whether they will be able to get a passable score on the SAT or if they will ever demonstrate an ounce of self motivation about anything beyond creating the perfect bacon sandwich, I remind myself that our number one priority is not to raise rocket scientists or doctors or lawyers or artists or movie stars or professional athletes or any other career professional you can think of, but to make happy and good people. So far homeschool has not failed us in that and we have had the joy of the company of our teenagers, which I would not give up for anything.