Confessions....

I have a lot of guilt.  Bayley reminded me recently of an incident when she was seven.  We had recently watched The Sound of Music and she had been apparently mesmerized by this beautiful design she saw on all the flags in the movie.  I came into my girls' room one night to kiss my three little girls good night and discovered to my horror a perfect swastika carved into their bunk bed.  Now, had I been a reasonable person with much experience of seven or eight year olds, I probably would have realized that no one in this bedroom could possibly have a clue what that symbol meant, and may have focused a little more on the wanton destruction of property.   But Bayley was only my second 7 year old, and Erin was barely older and I hardly knew what I was doing and was certain that this could only prove that we were harboring little Nazis in our home.  My reaction may have been a little severe. I may have scared Bayley out of her wits and probably destroyed all her ambition of ever pursuing a career as a wood carver.  So, like I said, guilt.  I have a lot.  I carry it about with me everyday.  So let me unburden myself a bit.

Sometimes...I throw away my kids' drawings.  But even worse, if they find them in the trash, I disavow all knowledge.

I once completely lost a 2 year old at an outdoor graduation ceremony, and unlike other incidences in which I have momentarily misplaced a child, when we found him he definitely knew he had been lost and I am sure was damaged for life.

I have been known to steal candy from Easter baskets and Christmas stockings.

When a well-meaning nurse gently informed me that they needed to take my newborn away and check his oxygen levels, I may have thought and even said things about how stupid the nursing staff was being.  That would be the nursing staff that saved that newborn's life. Yeah.

Pretty sure every one of my children has had their head whacked on a door jamb as infants.

I once slammed a car door on a toddler's fingers.

My children frequently sleep in the same clothes they wore all day... and sometimes still wear them the next day.

Once I left for the library and got a block before realizing we had left the toddler at home, another time I went to the park and had actually unloaded everyone and sent them off to play before realizing that one child was at home.

I have been known to sneak away clothes, toys, or books I don't like and pretend they mysteriously disappeared.

It is not unusual for me to let my kids stay up to ridiculous hours just because we are having fun, and then be frustrated the next morning when they won't get up.

There is actually video footage of me forcing a tearful child to just get in the family picture already so we can get this over with.

So, yeah, guilt.  I have a lot.  I think I will go make some cookies and call them dinner.